ME on TV: A New Network for Your Viewing Pleasure

There is no shortage of television to watch these days. Apart from hundreds of channels on cable networks or satellite dishes, Netflix can provide you with even more options. With so much to choose from, it’s surprising that the classic TV networks are increasing in numbers. Even though most of these shows are available on DVD, viewers are still choosing to watch them during prime time. According to an Indie Wire article, “Most Watched Television Networks: Ranking 2017’s Winners and Losers” by Michael Schneider from December 28, 2017, “Me TV grew 4 percent last year.” That’s good news for those of us who love watching the shows we grew up with.

melogo

While I appreciate Antenna TV and Me TV, I decided to kick it up a notch. I’m debating starting my own network called Me on TV. Not only can I watch my all-time favorite shows, but I can star in them as well. My pitch is that I will write myself into the shows I love. Here are a few ideas I have ready and waiting when the writers or producers call me.

Burns and Allen. Gracie has hired me, Duree Benedict, as her interior designer. She has a plan that we meet at Blanche’s to draw up the design. Once Gracie approves it, she wants me to stop by each morning, replacing an old item with a new one. Her philosophy is that things will change so slowly, George will never realize everything in the living room has been replaced. George realizes what is happening and says nothing. After two weeks, things are entirely new, and Gracie is happy. However, after another two weeks goes by, she realizes all the old items are back in place. George admits he was having fun with her and hired the designer to bring back their old items one by one. Then he calls me and has me set up the room according to Gracie’s new plan. I think this would work right Gracie? George?

me5

 

Bachelor Father. As Giselle Lincoln, I hire Bentley Gregg to draw up a corporation for me. I am a documentary filmmaker. Bentley and I go on a couple of dates, knowing this is not going to turn into a relationship, because I am traveling all the time. On one of those dates, Kelly comes to dinner with us and is fascinated by the places I’ve been and where I am filming in the future. I offer her a job as an assistant producer. Bentley wants her to go to college first, but I say she can learn from experiences. After an argument or two, Bentley relents and says she can join my company. Later that night, Peter has an impromptu conversation with Kelly, and she realizes her uncle has her best interests at heart and turns down the offer. I think we could make this work don’t you two? Peter could you talk to them?

me8

 

The Dick Van Dyke Show. As Olive Harte, I play Buddy’s sister-in-law. After hearing about Pickles for so long, Rob and Sally expect the worst when I stop in the office saying I have written a skit for the Alan Brady Show. However, I am the total opposite of Pickles. Sally and I hit it off and while I’m in town, we spend a lot of time together. Buddy is moping because Sally is too busy to hang out with him. The skit is a hit. Rob offers me a job, but I say I’m leaving in two days. I’ve been offered a contract to write screenplays. After I leave, Buddy and Rob notice Sally is lonely, and they realize having two guy co-workers is not the same as a best friend and they’re nicer to her than usual. It would be a heart-warming episode. Can you two stop laughing long enough to seriously consider the idea?

medvd

 

My Three Sons. My role is that of a bookstore owner, Daphne Marvel. The entire episode is filmed in my store. Each member of the Douglas family comes in throughout the day looking for an item that is related to an issue they are having. Charlie is looking for a cookbook from Singapore because he has a friend he met in the war coming for dinner and wants to surprise him with some of the dishes they enjoyed when stationed there. Steve wants a how-to book for dealing with teenagers. Robbie is looking for a book about car maintenance. He is planning on buying a car that needs a lot of work and wants to be prepared for how much time it will take before he tells his dad. Chip sneaks in to look for a book about orchids. His girlfriend’s dad loves them but doesn’t like boys much. Chip wants to learn about them, so he has something to discuss with Mr. Boyle. Ernie is looking for a magazine on model airplanes. He broke one of Chip’s and wants to fix it before he sees it’s missing. Later that night, they all end up in the kitchen looking for a snack. While talking, they realize they all were at the store and share their reasons for going and help each other out with their “problems.” Don’t you think that sounds good guys?  Steve, you haven’t said much.

my-three-sons-274

 

That Girl. I play Veronica Jenkins, an author. My best seller was just bought for a movie by Columbia. I have decided Ann is the perfect star to take the lead role. The problem is that she would have to be in Europe for three months to film and she promised her mother she would move home for a month to help her recover from a back surgery. Her mother has put off the surgery for some time, so it could be planned around Ann’s schedule for shooting two commercials. Does she turn down a perfect opportunity or keep her promise to her mom? What do you think Marlo? It may need a bit of tweaking but it would work.

me1

 

Hogan’s Heroes. As Yvonne Coudret, I have been brought in to Stalag 13 to help intercept an art shipment. As an expert on European art, I need Colonel Hogan’s help to stop a shipment of masterpieces stolen from Belgium. I have been smuggled into the camp as a domestic servant, but I know nothing about cleaning and cooking, and  Hogan needs to get me out before the staff realizes I am a spy. I think this would be a fun episode. What about you Col Hogan?  Le Beau?  Any of you?

me3

 

Green Acres.  As Leslie Wilson, I am in Hooterville to see my uncle, Hank Kimble. I am traveling to Greece, Italy, and Mozambique to write a book about different cultures. As I spend the day with my uncle visiting the Lisa and Oliver Douglas; the Ziffels, especially Arnold; and Sam Drucker’s store, I realize that this should be the first chapter in my book because the culture is like nothing I have seen anywhere else in the United States. Lisa thinks this is a good idea; Oliver how about you?

me4

 

The Wild, Wild West. President Grant has sent me to Jim and Artemis. I am a  artist by the name of Emily Adams. My paintings are being used as clues in a case where citizens in Omaha are being murdered. Jim and Artemis need to find the next clue and keep anyone else from being killed. They approach the sheriff with information about the next crime scene only to learn he is the killer when he puts them in a cement room under the jail. You two like culture don’t you. Why are you looking so uncertain?

me

 

The Carol Burnett Show. I would love to star in an episode of this show, working with the gang. My idea is a parody of Pillow Talk called “Brillo Talk.” A young man tries to romance a woman, but all she is interested in is cleaning and continues to tidy up his apartment when she finds dust, dirty dishes, etc. Carol, Vicky, it’s not “Went with the Wind,” but it could be pretty funny.

mecarol

 

The Partridge Family. As Shirley’s best friend from grade school, Amy Harding, I visit the Partridges for a few days. Shirley and I have a lot of fun catching up. Spending a few days together, we are both jealous of the other person. Shirley briefly envies my freedom to come and go and my life as an architect designing buildings all over the world. When I tell her I would give up everything in a heartbeat to have a family, she realizes what she has is irreplaceable. After a few days of craziness with the kids, I realize we are both doing just what we were designed to do. We part, both appreciating our lifestyles. This sounds like a typical Partridge episode I think, right?

me10

 

The Odd Couple. As Suzanne Rogers, I am a female sportswriter. When Oscar reads my articles with the byline S. Rogers, he assumes I am a male. When he invites me to appear on his show, he is surprised to learn I am a woman. He finally gets beyond his stereotype of me as a sports writer and invites me home for dinner. He is then surprised when I bond more with Felix, and the two of us become friends. You two don’t look convinced. I think women would love this one.

me7

 

Rizzoli and Isles. As Erin Reid, I play an old friend of Maura’s. When I was a witness to a murder, Jane and Frankie decide to hide me at Vince’s tavern where their mom Angela works. Maura vetoes the idea and tries to convince them to send me to a safe house. Maura is afraid I will share some stories about her in middle school when she did some embarrassing things. She was so smart she didn’t have a lot of common sense. She keeps popping in the tavern to keep me busy, so I don’t blab to Jane or Angela. Jane is frustrated because Maura is not in the lab when she needs information. Finally, Maura confesses what she is worried about. Jane reminds her she’s an amazing person and she should quit worrying about her past. Maura agrees. That night when they all go to the tavern to eat and let me know the killer is in jail, Maura talks about some of her embarrassing situations. I am surprised because I didn’t know her well till high school and hadn’t connected those stories to her. Maura, this is an episode that helps you mentally grow because you can rise above your view of yourself as an inept teen. I think it would be fun, don’t you?

RIZZOLI & ISLES

 

I think this new network is a great idea, but based on the uncertain and unenthusiastic looks from my future coworkers, I may have some work to do.

I’m not sure why you two look so worried; I haven’t even mentioned the idea I have for my appearance on M*A*S*H yet.

memash

Celebrating the Single Life: From Ann Sothern to Mary Tyler Moore

Today marks the beginning of National Singles Week. So, we’re taking a closer look at two women who were single and okay with it.

ann6

In the 1950s, Ann Sothern starred in two sitcoms that were almost one and the same. From 1953-57, we watched her in Private Secretary. Susie McNamara was the assistant to Peter Sands at his theatrical agency. When it went off the air due to contract disputes, Susie moved to a New York hotel, and in 1958, she morphed into Katy O’Connor. The show ran until 1961, and Sothern brought three of her former cast members to the hotel with her with new identities.

mary3

In 1970, we met Mary Richards. Mary is an independent career woman. She’d like to meet the right guy, but till he shows up, she’d rather be alone than in an unfulfilling relationship. Like Susie and Katy, Mary’s workmates become part of her extended family.

ann3

Ann Sothern was one of the first, if not the first, single working woman to appear on a sitcom. Susie previously worked as an actress and was a WAC in World War II. Her best friend Vi (Ann Tyrrell) is the receptionist at the agency. Susie often meddled in her boss’s private affairs, especially his female relationships. She could be described as a bit ditzy, but she also ran the office and was very bright.

ann10

Sothern was praised for her acting ability. She was nominated for Emmys three years in a row, but lost to Loretta Young in 1955, Lucille Ball in 1956, and Nanette Fabray in 1957. Lucille Ball, one of her closest friends, called Ann “the best comedian in this business, bar none.”

ann8

To ensure she came across as a serious career woman, great care was taken with the set. It was a state-of-the-art office with the most up-to-date equipment. Connie Brooks, on Our Miss Brooks, was praised by teachers for her realistic portrayal of an educator. Similarly, Ann Sothern was a heroine to secretaries throughout the country. In real life, Sothern was a smart business woman. She invested her money well, owned a variety of companies and a large ranch. She produced Private Secretary and insisted it be preserved on film. As a result, it went into syndication where it was titled “Susie.” From 1987-1990, it aired on Nick at Nite, creating a new fan base for the show.

ann1

The show holds up well. The scripts are a bit predictable and stereotyped, but it reflected the time. Susie McNamara gave young women hope that there was more to life than getting married and raising a family, although that was still an important role for women.

When Sothern was helping to run a posh hotel, Laura Petrie was at home, running her household. She gave up her dancing career to do so, but she was much more than a wife and mom. She and her husband were co-parenting at that time, and they were friends. She and Rob entertained a lot. Laura supported Rob’s friendship with Sally Rogers, one of his co-writers on this television show. She was a career woman who was very funny and smart, albeit lonely.

laura2

Nine years later, The Mary Tyler Moore Show debuted. Laura Petrie had become Mary Richards, a single career woman making her way to Minneapolis. Mary lived alone, dated infrequently, and spent a lot of her time at work or with her new best friend who lived in the apartment above her.

mary10

While we got to know Susie at work, we just got to know Mary. We saw her at her best and her worst. We saw her joyful, depressed, frustrated, angry, and saw her uncertainty as she navigated life alone.

mary7

Mary’s coworkers became her family. Mary wasn’t ditzy, although she occasionally did a ditzy thing or two. She didn’t try to fix her boss’s problems; she had problems of her own, but she was always there for her WJM family.

mary4

Mary would have liked to find the right guy, but until he came along she was satisfied with her life the way it was. She spent her money any way she wanted. She could wear her pajamas all day on Saturday. She had a fun, modern wardrobe. Work gave her great delight, and it also could be extremely stressful.

mary12 - Copy

Murray was her best friend at work. He and Mary shared a lot of life. We knew part of Murray was in love with Mary, but we also knew neither of them would ever act on any of those possible feelings since he was married.

murray

Mary was smart and funny. She was an assistant producer for the daily news. Her office space was not as elaborate as Susie’s. There was never enough money at work or at home.

mary8

The times had allowed Mary to move to the city by herself and set up a home. However, even Mary Richards was not allowed to be a divorcé. The network vetoed the original script and converted Mary to a formerly engaged girl whose relationship fell apart. During the run of the show, her boss’s wife asked for a divorce, so the show still ended up featuring a divorced character.

mary11 - Copy

The Mary Tyler Moore Show was one of the best-written shows in television history. Like M*A*S*H and The Bob Newhart Show, the ensemble of characters drove the show and they were realistic and likeable. The show received 29 Emmys, including three years in a row for Best Comedy (1975-1977). The series tackled a lot of social issues during its run, including equal pay for women, marital infidelity, ethical behavior when Mary goes to jail to protect a news source,  dealing with death of a friend, and Mary’s sleeping pill addiction–real issues facing women at that time.

This was a sophisticated show. It was not predictable. Mary was nice, sometimes too nice for her own good. When everyone else called Mr. Grant Lou, Mary couldn’t bring herself to do it. We were always rooting for her. She had hopes, dreams, and ambitions, and a realistic attitude about life.

mary13 - Copy

It seems like a big leap between Susie McNamara and Mary Richards, but there were a lot of smaller steps in between. Marlo Thomas’s That Girl provided another smart, funny woman who chose to give up her teaching job to pursue an acting career in New York. Ann Marie was another link in the chain that helped move women forward. While she did have a boyfriend and became engaged during the run of the show, Marlo Thomas ended the show with their marriage up in the air.

Marlo-Thomas-That-Girl-750x968

Mary’s life was more realistic than Susie’s. When the Ann Sothern Show ended, Katy and her boss (still played by Don Porter) kiss, and you know that they will end up married, and Katy will no longer be running the office.

murphy-brown-1-e1532979112153

When Mary Tyler Moore’s show ended, everyone on the WJM staff was fired except the totally incompetent Ted Baxter. We don’t know what Mary will be doing, but she has choices. Perhaps she found another news job in a new city. I like to think she found a position in management at a local corporation. Maybe she fell in love with one of the employees she was supervising. I think when she retired and turned on the television, she was watching Murphy Brown’s FYI program, celebrating the leaps women were taking in the workforce.

 

 

Give Me Six Minutes, and I’ll Give You Supper: The Story of the TV Dinner

It’s TV Dinner Day so let’s learn a bit about how the tv dinner came about. Nothing brings back memories more than recalling eating TV dinners parked in front of a favorite program. Many of us have vivid memories of the family sitting down together, not at the table, but in front of the set to watch Gilligan’s Island or The Donna Reed Show. There were practical reasons for the invention as well. Women were entering the workplace, and tv dinners made meal preparation quick and easy.

dinner9

The definition of a “tv dinner” is a frozen meal that is prepackaged, typically in some type of plastic. Several decades ago it was cooked in the oven, and today it is primarily cooked in the microwave. It requires almost no preparation and usually consists of a cut of meat, a vegetable, and a dessert.

Originally, “TV dinner” was trademarked by C.A. Swanson & Sons in 1953, and it was called “TV Brand Frozen Dinner” and was packaged in an aluminum tray. In 1953, Swanson sold about 5000 dinners.

dinner1

The first Swanson dinner was a Thanksgiving meal with turkey, cornbread stuffing, peas, and sweet potatoes. Gerry Thomas, who worked for Swanson, claims he invented the idea, because Swanson was left with so many turkeys after the holiday season, but the Swanson family has challenged that assertion. Gilbert and Clarke Swanson stated they developed the concept and the process of synchronization, so the foods all cooked in the same amount of time.

tv1

While there is still no definitive answer on the Swanson design, there is little controversy that the first frozen meal was developed by Maxson Food Systems, Inc. in 1945. They called their dinners “Strato-Plates” and they were made to reheat and serve on military and civilian airplanes. The food had separate compartments and usually were composed of a meat, vegetable, and potato.

tv2

Jack Fisher’s FridgiDinners were introduced in the late 1940s.  These packages were sold to bars and taverns.

Four years before Swanson’s product came out on the market, Albert and Meyer Bernstein sold packaged frozen dinners in the Pittsburgh area. They were produced under the brand name of “One-Eyed Eskimo.” By 1950, they produced more than 400,000 frozen dinners. In 1952 the brothers formed Quaker State Food Corporation and expanded their distribution to more markets, all east of the Mississippi. In 1954, when Swanson TV dinners were sold nationwide, Quaker State had sold more than two and a half million dinners.

dinner8

Selling nationwide and promoted as a meal to eat in front of the television, Swanson tends to get the credit for the new fad. The pewter tray covered in aluminum foil could be heated in, eaten from, and then thrown away. It was cooked for 25 minutes in a 425-degree oven. It sold for $.98 and most people ate it on a “tv tray” in front of the television.

In 1960, Swanson added desserts, often apple cobbler or a brownie. In 1969, the first breakfast meals were marketed. Pancakes and sausage was the big favorite.

“Hungry Man” dinners were introduced in 1973. These tv meals featured larger portions. Mean Joe Greene from the Pittsburgh Steelers was the spokesman for these calorie-laden dinners. A typical Hungry Man meal contains a whopping 860 calories with 39 grams of fat and 1350 milligrams of sodium. In 1986, microwave meals became available, while the 1990s introduced special kid meals.

The production of these meals is highly automated. There are three steps to the process: food prep, tray filling, and freezing. In the first step, fruits and vegetables are washed and placed into a container to be steamed or boiled, or blanching, as we know it in the kitchen. This should destroy enzymes that can cause chemical changes in the flavor and color of some of the foods. Fat is trimmed from the meat and it’s cut into standard sizes. They are seasoned and cooked in an oven. The “filling lines” put the food into container compartments. Liquid nitrogen is used for cryogenic freezing. The nitrogen is actually sprayed on the food which boils when it comes in contact with the frozen food. Called “flash freezing,” the process is supposed to retain a higher quality of the food. Dinners are then covered with paper or foil and vacuum-sealed, so the food does not dry out. The dinners are stored at -18 degrees during shipping and storage.

dinner2

The freezing process might be safe, but there is much controversy about how healthy most of these meals are. The dinners are heavily processed with salt and fat to add back in flavor. Since they need a longer shelf life, partially hydrogenated oils are used. These are high in trans fats and are being banned in some areas. The dinners are typically less nutritious than fresh food and sometimes require questionable preservatives.

Today there is a trend to produce healthier versions of these meals. Weight Watchers, Amy’s, and Lean Cuisine are brands that have a better reputation for their ingredients.

tv3

TV dinners have changed drastically since 1953. There is a much wider variety of items to choose from: pasta, Mexican, Thai, you name it. Many grocery delis now produce their own versions, typically made from scratch. They are much healthier, and their hefty price tag proves it. Swanson has retained only 10% of the annual sales.

dinner12

I read several statistics that said the average American enjoys, ok that might be a stretch, but the average American consumes 72 prepackaged dinners a year. In 1962, Swanson was afraid that the designation “tv dinner” would discourage customers from using the frozen meals for breakfast and lunch, so they dropped the designation. I thought it was amazing that we still refer to these meals as “tv dinners” almost 60 years later.

dinner10

It makes one wonder what our great grandchildren will be eating in another 60 years. Unfortunately, too many of them will be eating in front of the television rather than around a table discussing the day’s events. Perhaps that is the most nostalgic thing about the 1950s.

Get Ready to Be Bowled Over: The Greatest Bowling Episodes

Along with Labor Day this year, September 3 is Bowling League Day. It’s also a good reason for me to put together a list of my favorite bowling episodes. Bowling has been a staple on television since shows first started airing. Let’s look at a few of the best ones.

bowl22

 

Tom and Jerry

One of the first programs to be set in a bowling alley was Tom and Jerry in “The Bowling Alley Cat” from 1942. It was originally seen in theaters and later debuted on television. A play on the phrase “alley cat,” the animated show is directed by William Hanna and Joseph Barbera.

bowl2

This is a fun setting to watch the duo’s antics. Jerry hides in a bowling ball and then skates down the alley. Tom slips trying to catch him. Eventually Jerry makes it to the end of the lane and waves from behind a pin. Tom tries to throw a ball to hit him as Jerry has to jump behind different pins to keep from getting hit. Jerry bats one of the balls back to Tom using the pin as a bat. Tom’s thumb gets stuck in a ball as he tries to release it and he is propelled all the way down the lane. Quickly acting, Jerry pulls the pin setter down and Tom looks like one of the pins. Tom drops a ball on his foot at one point trying to get Jerry out of one of the holes. These escapades continue until Tom is sent down the alley again knocking over all the pins. Jerry hops onto the desk and records a strike on his scorecard.

bowl1

 

Ozzie and Harriet

In 1953, in an episode titled “Bowling Alley,” the Nelsons are sitting around the living room. David and Ricky decide to go play basketball. Ozzie and Harriet are discussing how many people have colds. Harriet thinks Ozzie is coming down with one. He feels fine, but then her friend Mary stops by. The girls decide to go to the Emporium shopping. When Harriet asks Ozzie to drive them, honest Ozzie feigns a cold to get out of taking them. His neighbor Thorny stops by and convinces him to go bowling because the high scorer for the day gets a case of Ginger Ale. It’s not Thorny’s night, and Ozzie beats him four games in a row,  winning a whopping $.20. Just as the guys are changing their shoes, Thorny spies Harriet, and they make a quick get-away. Relieved, they get home before her and no one is the wiser. Of course, Ozzie is the high scorer and the next day when the pop is delivered to the Nelson home, Ozzie confesses. He calls everyone he knows to brag about his achievement.  Harriet doesn’t have the heart to tell him that the high score was her game.

 

The Flintstones

One of the most famous bowling scenes is from The Flintstones’ third season, “Bowling Ballet.”  Wilma has her work cut out for her getting Fred off to his job. When the lunch whistle blows, Fred meets Barney to practice bowling. Fred feels he is out of rhythm and his timing is off. After driving into a fence, dropping a rock on a truck at work, and having a bowling ball hit his toe, he decides he needs help. Mr. Slate tells him the employees are betting double that his team will win the bowling championship. That night Fred sees a commercial for the Bedrock Dance Studio airing the promise to help someone get their rhythm back. Fred signs up for classes. A few days later, Fred calls in sick.  The girls spy him ballet dancing in the basement. Wilma assumes he’s been seeing another woman since he’s been gone every night. Betty promises that Barney will follow him that night to make sure it’s not another woman. When Barney calls Wilma and Betty to say Fred is dancing, they assume he’s with another woman and go to check it out. Fred’s secret is out. The night of the big championship, the team faces the Rockland Rockets. Fred’s first ball is a gutter ball.  Barney puts on some music so Fred can bowl while dancing ballet, and he gets a strike. The Water Buffaloes take home the first prize.

 

 

That Girl

That Girl’s “This Little Piggy Had a Ball” episode aired in 1967. The show begins with a group throwing their friend Sharon a surprise party for an award she won.  However, Sharon has been called to Hollywood for an audition, so she chooses Ann to accept the award for her. Don and Ann are supposed to go bowling, so Don agrees to write an acceptance speech for her while they’re there. While Don is writing, Ann reads a bowling magazine and reads an article about a man who bowls with his feet. While demonstrating, she gets her big toe stuck in the ball. No matter what they try, the bowl stays stuck. The owner throws away the magazine because Ann is the fourth person to get a ball stuck on their foot that week. He puts axle grease on her toe but nothing he does helps her. Ann is sure the fire department can help her. The crew was at a fire, and the underwater diver who was at the station cannot find a way to help her either. Ann makes Don take her to the hospital emergency room. The doctor she sees is convinced that his doctor friend set him up and this is a prank.  When he is convinced that she is a real patient, he diagnoses her with an excited toe and gives her muscle relaxers to help her toe come loose. She is supposed to take one every half hour but her neighbor Leon, an obstrician,  realizes she took three in the first hour and he decides to cut off the bottom half of the ball so there is a flat surface and put a cast over the the rest of it, so she can walk, and they sober her up. Rob Reiner and Terri Garr show up at the banquet as acting friends and give Ann a hard time about her cast. Sharon wins the prize, and when Ann goes up to accept the award, the ball and cast fall off.

 

The Odd Couple

In 1974 the question was “To Bowl or Not to Bowl.” Felix and Oscar’s bowling team, the Bon Vivants, are battling the Kingpins for the championship game. This is the first time in five years the Bon Vivants have had an opportunity to be in the final game. The episode begins with Oscar telling everyone they need to practice every night and complaining to Murray and Vinnie about how bad they were. Felix hates the pressure and quits the team. Oscar makes it clear he’s mad at Felix, and Felix tries to get him to talk it over. When Felix still says he won’t bowl, Oscar refuses to discuss it. The other team sticks to the rule that a bowler cannot be replaced. The next night, the boys play poker. Oscar decides to play without competition to teach Felix a lesson. Felix wins the round but since there is no competition, the next round goes back to even and no one wins any money. The guys discuss the fact that Felix always has an ailment when a competition is on the line. They decide his real problem is psychological. Murray brings a healer to talk to Felix whose back is hurting. After the guys leave for the bowling alley, Felix decides to go and bowl with the team. The other team is also short a man because on of their players is getting married, so they decide each of them can substitute someone but they can’t agree on two people they can use. Part way into the game both Felix and the groom show up to finish bowling with their teams. They are down to the final frame. Felix can win with his final ball, but as he gets ready to let it go, his back goes out and the teams start arguing. Felix lectures everyone. He rolls the ball down the aisle while laying down. He wins and the team is so excited they all run off so the losing team can buy them a drink, but they forget about Felix who can’t move and has to crawl off the lane.

bowl11

 

Laverne and Shirley

In another season 1 episode, “Bowling for Razzberries,” the girls are in the championship game in 1976. Laverne dislikes Karen, who gives tours at the brewery and torments her. Shirley convinces her to get even with Karen by beating her team at the company bowling night. Laverne coaches the girls about their abilities during practice. Laverne doesn’t criticize Shirley because she always over reacts and takes it personally. Shirley convinces Laverne to give her some tips and when she does, Shirley quits. Shirley realizes Laverne is coming down with a cold and tries to convince her not to practice with her fever. Leonard shows up with a pink ball and his fingers were stuck in there.  He made a comment about Karen’s body, and she slammed the ball on his hand. On the day of the championship, Carmine stops by to tell them he, Lennie and Squiggy bet on their team to win. Shirley calls the doctor to stop by and see Laverne. The doctor is young and good-looking. Laverne puts on lipstick while he scrubs up. He gives her some cold medicine and tells her she needs bed rest till Monday.  To keep Laverne inside, Shirley hides all her clothes while Laverne is sleeping and joins the team again. A sergeant comes collecting clothes for the needy. Laverne tells her she has no clothes, and the sergeant gives her her clothing, keeping her cape and hat. The Hot Shotz are playing the Big Shotz. Shirley finds and old lady from the brewery to fill in for Laverne. In order to participate in the game, Laverne decides to take the medication which leaves her muscles jerky. She shows up at the bowling alley in the sergeant’s clothing. Laverne gets worse as the night goes on. In the last frame, she needs six pins to win. Squiggy, Carmine, and Lenny carry her in her chair to the lane. She wins the game for her team but is too tired to tell Karen what she thinks of her. She asks Shirley to do it and Shirley congratulates her, using good sportsmanship. The next day, Laverne tries to convince Shirley to go to Karen’s house and give her the “razzberry” Laverne wanted to the night before. Shirley calls her on the phone and does so, making Laverne proud. There are a lot of similarities between this episode and The Odd Couple episode discussed above. That’s not too surprising since Garry Marshall produced both shows.

 

 

Ellen

In “Bowl, Baby, Bowl” in 1996, the cast ends up at the bowling lane. Paige and Spencer decide to meet at the bookstore since it’s located half way between the hospital and her studio. Before Paige gets there, Spencer gets called back to the hospital. To reward the employees for their good work at the store, Ed decides to take everyone bowling. Ed is very competitive and names his bowling ball “Rolling Thunder.” The rest of them are just there to have fun, and they goof around more than bowl seriously. They attract a crowd and in the last frame, despite her lack of skills, Ellen wins. After Ellen beats him, Ed gets mad. He cancels Ellen’s day off. When she tries to talk to him, he challenges her to a game of pool at his house the next day. That morning, Paige shows up at Ellen’s to surprise Spencer with breakfast. Before they can eat, Paige has to go to the studio and Spencer gets a page from the hospital. At Ed’s house, Ellen trash talks while playing pool.  Ed wins, but Ellen is a bad loser. The next morning at the bookstore, Ellen challenges Ed to who can drink the hot coffee the quickest.  After burning their mouths, they decide on a final game of bowling to break the tie. Ed’s young daughter Emily asks to bowl for Ellen in the final frame. After saying no, Ellen gives in and hands her the ball, talking about the fact that winning is not the important thing, how you play is. Emily granny rolls the ball and wins for Ellen. Ed and Ellen call a truce but when Ed’s wife takes the girls to the arcade, the game is back on as those two run to the arcade to beat each other. The show ends with Spencer and Paige finally getting some time together.

 

Modern Family

In “Knock ‘Em Down” in 2015, Jay agrees to sub for Cam’s bowling team. Cam conveniently forgets to mention that it’s an all-gay league. Cam wants to beat his nemesis Martin Sherman. Gloria and Mitchell are bragging about how late they will stay out since they are going out on a night on the town with Haley. Cam and Jay bet them $10 that they’ll be home before they are. As Mitchell and Gloria begin dancing, Cam tells them they’re dancing to the Antique Roadshow theme. When Cam tells Jay everyone has to be gay on the team, Jay says no one will ever believe he is gay. Martin approaches Cam and tells him he’ll beat him again and hopes to see Cam try to throw a chair that is bolted down like last year which hurt his back. Jay dislikes Martin and agrees to bowl. Martin questions Jay’s being gay, so Cam tells him to “up his gay game.” Cam tells Martin Jay is acting a bit weird because he has a crush on Martin. Jay really plays up to Martin to throw him off his game. Near the last frame, Martin tries to ask Jay out and he turns him down which keeps Martin from bowling well. After they win the game, Jay talks to Martin and tells him he turned him down because he’s not gay.  Martin thanks him for revealing it and then has Cam’s team disqualified.

Meanwhile, Phil can’t sell a house in the neighborhood because the house across the street has an obscene statue in the front yard. All the neighbors hate it, including the new neighbors whom Phil and Claire dislike. That couple ask Phil and Claire to go out to dinner, and they can’t find a nice way to say no. Phil and Claire consider the couple a bit “low class.” Phil and Claire are embarrassed that the neighbors they don’t like brought their own wine. But when they wave the waiter over for glasses and he takes it out of the bag, it’s a very expensive bottle that the restaurant doesn’t have. Then they mention their son is going to Julliard for piano playing and composing.  The neighbors say they can tie rope around the statue and haul it away. Phil gets in the car and tries to stop them. As he pulls off, he doesn’t realize he’s in reverse and he backs over the statue. A policeman stops by to talk about the statue; luckily Phil knows him and they aren’t questioned.

Meanwhile, Haley tells Gloria and Mitch that they can’t go out for a few hours because no one goes out till 10 and the band sometimes doesn’t go on till midnight. As Mitchell and Gloria wait to go out they are already falling asleep. They start dancing to stay awake. When Haley comes back with wristbands they are sound asleep. They get up and go to the club with her but realize they can’t stay up any longer and leave.

 

These episodes are a handful of the shows that aired during the 75 years between 1942 and 2015, but they are my favorites. Other shows that featured fun bowling episodes are Happy Days, Looney TunesMike and Molly, Roseanne, The Big Bang Theory, and The Brady Bunch.

If you can’t find any of these great shows to watch today, gather a few of your friends together and get a game of bowling in. Have a ball! Just keep your toes out of it.